Facilitating Transformation – Solutions for Parents, Teenagers and Children

Love is not a doing game

Love is not a doing game

When you see love as a thing that you somehow have to actively do, it offers the possibility of getting it right or wrong, of finding and losing, succeeding and failing. It can look like a practice, a problem and a personal quest – how to get enough and give enough and how to keep it once you have found it. Is this love? Or is this love? So loving can become exhausting and worrisome, a cause for insecurity and a basis for unhappiness in the absence of some-thing and yet always held aloft as the ultimate feeling we seek.

Love is categorised; parental, romantic, familial, platonic….. And with each comes the perceived wisdom, advice and guidance and endless imagery that comprises our own cultural ‘conditioning’. There’s a right way to do it.

But if you step back from all ideas about love which are, after all, just human thought creations and allow your mind to be still, love will appear in everything and everyone, within you and around you because what we name love is in everything and requires nothing from us; no thinking, no doing, no enquiry, no trying. Love is like our magnetic north, our true compass, our heart’s gravity.

When you search on the outside, starting with the visible or known ‘truths’ about love in your own life, your own history, and the stories you hold on to i.e. your own ideas about love – it ensures that you continue to experience love the same way – as fulfilling or frustrating, easily found or elusive, simple or complex. It remains a doing and a personal responsibility. Hence the idea that you can be lucky in love or lost.

But Love arises through us from the natural and formless making us all an expression of love. We have the state of consciousness which allows us to experience the feelings we attribute to love and the power to create our own personal expressions of love in our lives through the creative energy of thought.

So wherever you are in relation to love it is already within you. There is nowhere and no need to look for ‘it’. Love cannot be lost or found, diminished or done because it already is who we are. Trying to ‘do’ love with our thoughts doesn’t make any sense when in fact the letting go of our thoughts about ‘it’ is the quickest path to being and living in love.

So when you start where you already are, in love, as love, the rest becomes a personal experience of how it manifests in the form of your life.


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